Feelings
by Elzangel
Summary: Allan and Marian story set on the day in the episode Get Carter,


Marian waited till the most of the camp were asleep, then she eased herself out of Robin's embrace and stole silently out of the camp. She knew what she was doing was dangerous, but she felt she owed him at least this much. She was wide awake, despite the time of day, or more appropriately, night; as the days events played through her head. She reflected on everything that had happened, while she made the walk to Nottingham. Firstly, there was the fact Robin had tied her up, an act she was still angry at him for, even though she acted as though she had forgave him, she knew she had to, to gain his trust. Secondly, there was the fact that Allan had helped her deal with Guy. Allan-a-Dale of all people. Traitor to Robin Hood. The man she was supposedly in love with, yet after today she wondered if she was indeed truly in love with him. When she had seen his body, her heart had sunk, and she felt like she was suddenly all alone in the world, but then it occurred to her that there would be no-one to hold her back, and the way Allan had helped her, showed her that she wasn't entirely alone after all, and even with Robin gone, his gang would help her. Then there was Guy.

She felt sort of sorry for him. He had no one in his life, but her and she had betrayed him, and made a fool of him, and yet he still loved her, and for this she felt guilty. He repeatedly offered her lifelines, despite her spurning his advances, and then she had made even more of a fool of him that day, by kissing him. It would be a double blow to him if he ever found out, as not only was she making a mockery of him, she was doing it to save Robin. The kiss was the third thing bothering her. After realising Robin was in fact very much alive and causing trouble, she'd felt a mixture of relief and anger. Relief that he hadn't left her and anger, for the fact he had caused her to believe he was and suffer so badly. These emotions could have been what caused her to kiss Guy. She knew if ever he found out, it would hurt him, like he had hurt her, but also she had been trying to save him.

However, she felt there was another reason. When Marian had first gone to kiss Guy, she had meant it to be a quick thing, but when she saw who was watching she decided to make it more passionate. She couldn't understand why she would act that way and her puzzled her. The very fact that Allan had helped her, while Robin had humiliated her and caused her grief, had left her in a muddle of emotions. She should, technically, hate Allan for the way he had treated Robin, but she couldn't deny that he'd been good to her while she had been in the castle. He'd covered for her with Guy many a time, particularly that day, despite her nearly blinding him. She also knew that she could trust him not to tell Robin about the kiss, because although he had betrayed Robin, in a strange sort of way, he had never meant to hurt him, just try and survive. Being the castle, she had heard all about his horrendous torture, and that made her feel pity towards him, but whenever she'd try and speak to him about it, he'd change the subject, not wanting to talk about it. She also knew, from piecing together information she had gotten back at the camp, along with information gathered whilst in the castle, and her own observations, he had tried to protect her as much as possible. She didn't know if this showed loyalty to her, or Robin, but she wanted to find out.

That's why she was making the journey to the castle. Marian wanted to talk to him. Thank him properly for his help, talk about why he had made the choices he had, and basically straighten out the mixed emotions she was currently feeling. Was it possible that she was in fact attracted to him? She wondered to herself, as she neared the castle, but she shook her head at the absurdity of it. She loved Robin. Always had. But the feelings she had felt towards him that day were not the ones she believed women should for their true love. Even when she had lay in his arms, her thoughts were of another, and this bothered her.

She gave the excuse to the guards of visiting Guy, and then made her way towards the quarters where she knew he slept, being careful not to be caught, as being in the castle at this time of night would look suspicious even if the half-asleep guard who had let her in couldn't see that. She tiptoed down the corridor, nearing his room, her heart racing when she heard footsteps coming towards her, so she slipped behind a pillar, praying that she wouldn't be caught. She let out a silent sigh of relief when the footsteps passed, and she opened her eyes to see a maid walking down the corridor. Marian, quickly checked that no-one else was coming before carrying on the short distant to his room.

She could feel her heart thumping loudly in her chest as she listened outside his door for any sign that he had company, but all she could hear was his cheerful whistling. She tapped gently on the door, but received no reply so proceeded in entering the room anyway.

The sight that greeted her shocked her. 'I'm so sorry' she gasped before turning to face the other way, away from the naked Allan, who had clearly just had a bath.

'Marian!' He hissed. 'I'm not being funny, but what are you doing here? Does Guy know? Does Robin know?' He hurried to get dressed and save her from looking at the wall.

'I...er...I just came to say thank you for today, and er... no. Neither of them know I'm here.' Her reply was stuttered due to the shock, and the fact she was now quite flustered.

'Oh, right. You didn't have to.'

'I felt I needed to after the way I've treated you, and you've been so nice to me.' Her eyes kept flickering to the sides, as if she was trying to sneak another peek at him.

'It's not a big deal. Just being a gentleman.'

'Well you didn't have to.'

'Yeah. Well. You can turn around now. Not that you couldn't have done before. I don't mine you having a look, show you what you're missing with Robin.' He joked, receiving a glare from Marian as she turned round to face him.

'From what I saw, Robin's got no competition.' She said slyly

'Ah, well it's not what it looks like, but what it does.' He smirked at her, knowing he was riling her. 'Look, Marian, what did you come here for? It wasn't to compare my body to Robin's now was it? Because we all know I'd win by a mile.' He gestured towards his body, and she rolled her eyes at him.

'So full of yourself Allan.'

'Yeah I am. No one else cares, so I got to make up for it in self-endearment.' She walked towards him.

'Course people care for you Allan. Djaq does. I'm sure Robin still does, and I do.' He looked her straight in the eyes, seeing if she was telling the truth.

'You do?' She nodded. 'Why? After all I've done to you, Robin and the gang.'

'People make mistakes Allan. I'm sure if you explained to Robin he'd take you back.' He shook his head.

'No. It's too late for that. I made sure there was no going back by coming to work here permanently.'

'You didn't have many options.'

'Look, stop making excuses for me Marian. I had plenty of other options. Going back to being a trickster full time, being one of them.' Marian, raised an eyebrow, and continued to hold his gaze.

'We both know that would have been too dangerous with Guy and the Sheriff around, especially if you'd rejected the offer of working for them.'

'They didn't ask me to work for them Marian. I asked _them_ if I could work for them.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah. So I did have a choice.'

'Not much of one though.' He sighed, exasperated.

'Look. Stop trying to make excuses for me. I did wrong. That's me. A wrong 'un. Always have been, always will be.' He saw the pity in her eyes, and it hurt him. 'Don't look at me like that. I don't need pity. Especially not from you.' Now it was turn to look hurt.

'I wasn't giving you pity. You're right you don't deserve it.'

'Well at least we agree on that. I'm not being funny, but why _are_ you here?'

'I told you. To say thank you.' He raised an eyebrow at her.

'Well you've done that.'

'I should get going then.' She turned to leave and he caught her arm, sending a slight shiver down her spine as she looked at where his hand was touching her, he followed her gaze and let go.

'Look, I don't believe you came all this way, at this time of night just to say thank you, when you have already. Is it about the kiss?' She stared at him, looking slightly confused.

'What kiss?'

'The kiss with Guy.'

'It was nothing.'

'I know, I just thought you might have come here to ask me not to say anything, which I won't, but clearly as you didn't seem to know what I was talking about it cant be that.'

'I..er... You better not say anything.' She threatened, her eyes narrowed. Allan held up his hands in defence.

'I won't. I said I won't.' She seemed to relax slightly.

'Good, because I'd never forgive you.'

'Robin wouldn't believe me anyway.'

'He might.'

'I doubt it. I betrayed him, and I wouldn't want him thinking you had when all you were doing was protecting him.' She looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

'Thank you.'

'What for?'

'Looking out for me. You always seem to be watching out for me.' He shrugged, looking embarrassed.

'It's my job that's all. Guy would kill me if anything happened to you.' She shook her head.

'No it's not. He'd be more likely to kill you if he knew what you did for me today.'

'Like I said it was nothing. I knew you wanted to be with Robin, but that Guy would be worried if he didn't know where you were. I was just trying to keep you safe that's all.' She moved back towards him.

'That's the thing. You don't have to keep me safe. I can do that for myself and I have Robin.'

'Who else was going to tell you that eh?' She had no answer for this. 'Exactly. Look, it's nothing. I guess I feel I owe the gang for betraying them.'

'The gang, yes, but me no.'

'You're part of the gang now, and by keeping you safe I may be making it up slightly with Robin.' She felt slightly stung that he was doing all this for Robin and not her.

'I know you did things to help me before, when you were with the gang.' He shuffled slightly and turned to look out the window, looking uncomfortable with her statement.

'We all did. We were helping Robin.'

'All the time? I don't think so. What was the real reason Allan?' She stepped closer, piercing him with her stare. He gulped and stumbled backwards.

'That...that's the truth. For Robin. We protected you for Robin.' She shook her head.

'I don't believe you.'

'It's true. I swear.' He held his hands up, to show what he was saying was truth. Again she shook her head and stepped nearer to him. Listening to all he had said, had cleared her head of a lot of those confused emotions. She knew now that he had constantly tried to protect her and that the anger she felt towards his betrayal was because she felt that he had slighted _her_. She realised, that in his own way he cared for her perhaps more than Robin did.

'I don't believe you. You did those things for me. Because you care for me.'

'Er...well. We all did. We all care for you.' Again she shook her head, and advanced towards him. He looked round to see where he could go and realised he had no where.

'Yes, but I believe you care for me more than the others. Perhaps more than Robin.'

'That's not possible.'

'Isn't it? You've never tied me to a tree, he has.

'That was for your own safety.'

'Maybe, but there's other ways to keep me safe as you have proven.' He stared in to her bright blue eyes, and looked away quickly before he felt himself sinking under the spell they seemed to cast.

'Yeah, well we all do things differently. If that's all, I think you should go, as it's late, I'm tired and Robin will miss you.'

'He doesn't know I'm gone and I'll go when you tell me why you do those things.' She felt braver now, as the look in his eyes told her he was frightened. She knew why. Earlier that evening, as she had lay next to Robin she had felt the same. She reached up, and cupped his face with her hand. He pulled away, moving to the side, to avoid her. 'Just tell me the truth Allan.' She pleaded. 'The truth, that's all I want.'

'I've told you the truth.'

'No you haven't. I can see it in your eyes. You care for me don't you? In a way Guy and Robin never could.' She saw his Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed nervously.

'Er... You really should get going. I'm sure I can organise a carriage for you.' Yet again she shook her head.

'No Allan. I'm not going till you say it.' He stared into her eyes.

'Say what?' He whispered. She stepped closer towards him till she was right in front of him, and this time he didn't move.

'That you care for me. More than anyone else. That...' She swallowed. 'You love me.' His heart pounded loudly in his chest. Why was she doing this he wondered. What would come of it?

'I...er...' He sighed. 'Why? Tell me why I should. So that you can go tell the others. Use it against me.' She shook her head, and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. 'Look, Marian, I'm sorry but what good will come of it if I do say it? Nothing could happen. You're with Robin, and well me and him we don't get along too well and I don't think he'd appreciate me sharing his missus.' He grinned as a small smile played on her lips. 'That's better. You cheer up a bit, and I'll arrange the carriage.' He went to walk past her towards the door, but she put her arm out and stopped him. 'What you doing, Marian?' She looked at him, with those pools of blue, and he knew he was captivated and under her spell.

'You still haven't said it. Said how you feel.' He looked deep into her eyes before he replied.

'If I do will you leave?' She nodded. 'Alright. I'll do it, but I hope afterwards you say how you feel back.' She smiled, and he laughed. 'Here I go then.' He cupped her face, and looked straight into her eyed. 'I think you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.' She blushed, and he stroked her cheek. 'You're absolutely selfless, caring and as for how I feel towards you.' He swallowed, before continuing. 'I would walk through fire to protect you. To me, you are everything. I do...'

'Say it.' She whispered leaning in closer towards him.

'I love you.' She leaned in even closer, their noses touching, and she placed her hand on his cheek. 'You going to say how you feel now?'

'This is how I feel about you.' She lent even closer and placed a tender kiss on his lips, before pulling away. 'That's how I feel about you.'

'Wow. No wonder Robin's always smiling.' She laughed and leaned in again for another kiss, this time, Allan placed his arms round her waist. He was expecting it this time, so he put more passion into it this time, and she moaned against his mouth, gently trying to slip her tongue into his mouth, to which he willingly obliged. They remained in their passionate embrace, until Marian pulled away to look at him.

'It's late, I've got to go.' He nodded. She leaned into kiss him one more time. 'But meet me tomorrow, by the river. And we'll continue this tomorrow.' He nodded, and lent in to kiss her again.

'Do you want me to arrange that carriage now?'

'Won't that look suspicious?'

'Maybe.'

'I'll walk then. The walk will clear my head.' He nodded.

'If you're sure.' She nodded.

'I'll be alright. I'm sure I can sneak out and back to the camp and not be caught.' She gave him one more kiss, and left the room.

He walked to his bed, and lay down, shocked and pleased at what had just happened. A grin appeared on his face, and what he didn't know was, that it was exactly the same as the one Marian was wearing as she made her way back to the camp and to Robin. Knowing for well that soon she would be back in Allan's arms, feeling happier than she had been for a long time with Robin.


End file.
